Let’s talk about expat guilt! In this episode we talk about feeling guilty for moving abroad and leaving family and friends behind. We talk about how we deal with guilt and reactions like “you chose this.” Also we talk about the biggest misconception that family and friends have of our life in Lisbon. We discuss what we gained from moving abroad that we would have never experienced if we stayed. Last but not least we have some advice for anyone who’s experiencing expat guilt.
Enjoy listening and don’t forget to rate the podcast and leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform, like Spotify – it will help more hearts find our little corner of the world.
With love, April Betts & Anna Jirina.
About From Lisbon With Love
Welcome to From Lisbon With Love! A podcast about real stories of love, laughter, and life in Lisbon — from women who have left it all behind. We share real stories about moving to Lisbon, starting over and figuring life out along the way. We talk love, dating, friendships, breakups, healing, growing, all of it. Basically, the stuff we usually talk about over coffee ☕️ or vinho 🍷. If you’re thinking about moving to Lisbon, already here or just love honest conversations with heart: you’re in the right place! Learn more about our story here.
What is expat guilt?
Expat guilt (feeling guilty after moving abroad) is a common and valid emotion experienced by people who moved abroad and left family and friends behind. As an immigrant or expat you can struggle with feeling guilty for prioritizing your aspirations over being physically present for loved ones. However feelings of expat guilt are really common, it can be extremely hard to manage. Also it can influence your experience in your new homecountry negatively, if the guilt takes over it can become harder and harder to live your life and enjoy.
Feeling guilty for leaving family and friends
First of all it’s important to acknowledge that feelings of guilt for moving away from family and friends are completely normal. It’s only human and it’s even a good sign, because it shows that you deeply care about the people you ‘left behind’ by moving abroad. Especially missing important milestones like holidays, family reunions and birthdays can trigger the feeling of guiltiness. Also you can feel guilty for not being able to help in a crisis or take care of elderly relatives that you feel responsible for.
You might feel as if pursuing your dreams is ‘wrong’ or that you’ve abandoned your roots. On top of that, it can be hard to see your family and friends back home live ‘normal’ lives, which can make you feel like you’re missing out or failing in your obligations.
How to deal with guilt after moving abroad
To manage feelings of guilt, it can help to stay consistent with being in touch with your loved ones, communicate openly and plan visits as often as possible. To maintain the feeling of closeness and to involve family and friends in your life (and vice versa), sharing photos and videocalling on a regular basis is very effective. View the move as a personal growth journey that may inspire your loved ones, instead of seeing it as a betrayal. You can overcome guilt by fully embracing your new life, since your joy can also bring happiness to your family and friends back home.
Why we chose to move abroad
Curious to know why we wanted to make a change and why we moved to Lisbon? In this episode we’ll share in detail why we decided to move to Lisbon. As much as we love our new life, it’s not only sunshine and rainbows. In this episode we share what moving abroad is really like. Moving abroad alone shaped us, changed us and taught us things we’d never expect. In this episode we discuss what living abroad alone is really like and what we learned from it.
