In this episode we talk about long distance friendships with our guest Valerie. We discuss if a long distance friendship can survive after moving abroad and how the distance can influence your friendship. Also we share how our friendships changed after moving abroad and if we’ve already lost some friends because of it… Lastly we have some advice for anyone who’s dealing with a long distance friendship.
Enjoy listening and don’t forget to rate the podcast and leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform, like Spotify – it will help more hearts find our little corner of the world.
With love, April Betts & Anna Jirina.
About From Lisbon With Love
Welcome to From Lisbon With Love! A podcast about real stories of love, laughter, and life in Lisbon — from women who have left it all behind. We share real stories about moving to Lisbon, starting over and figuring life out along the way. We talk love, dating, friendships, breakups, healing, growing, all of it. Basically, the stuff we usually talk about over coffee ☕️ or vinho 🍷. If you’re thinking about moving to Lisbon, already here or just love honest conversations with heart: you’re in the right place! Learn more about our story here.
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Can a long distance friendship survive?
In the episode we discuss if a long distance friendship can survive or not. To be honest: we figured that not all friendships are ready for long distance and losing friends after moving abroad is very common. Unfortunately, not all friendships are made to last forever. Moving abroad often reveals which connections are meant to evolve and which ones were meant to be temporary.
Also your friendships will most likely change because of the distance, since you can’t see each other that often anymore. If only one person is initiating, let’s say, 80% of the conversations, the friendship will fail. But a long distance friendship can absolutely survive if you both put the same amount of effort in it!
The distance can even cause your friendship to grow stronger, since you have to communicate more deeply now that you can’t rely on convenient proximity anymore. Studies on long distance friendships have shown a “critical drop-off” around 60–90 days, which means if you’re not maintaining the friendship in the first 60-90 days after the distance is created, it will move from ‘active’ to ‘distant.’
How to maintain a long distance friendship?
Maintaining a long distance friendship is not impossible, it’s just different and it requires more effort. It can help to schedule weekly or monthly (video) calls or catch up with each other with voice notes to remain that feeling of closeness. Also communicating over the smaller things is a good way to stay in touch and be present in each other’s lives. For example: sending a meme to your friend might be a small gesture, but it’s saying that you’re thinking about them.
Also making time for each other is really important: if you have the opportunity to visit your long distance friend, don’t let it slide! Booking the trip in advance is showing that you make an effort and also you both have something to look forward to. Especially during ‘big moments’ like the holidays, birthdays, weddings or other celebrations, it can be extra rewarding to visit your long distance friend. Also visiting your friend to support him or her during hard times can really grow your friendship stronger, especially after moving abroad.
If it’s not possible (for now) to visit each other, (virtual) shared experiences can help you move forward and remain that feeling of closeness. For example: watching the same shows (that you used to do together) or read the same books, so that you can talk about it.
Making new friends after moving abroad
As important as it is to maintain your friendships back home, it’s just as important to create new friendships in your new country. In this episode we talk about our struggles with making friends in a new country.
